I used to be terrified of birth, pregnancy and everything.
Now I see it as a sort of calling, not just to do it myself but also to help guide others.
When I volunteered to help 6k people fire walk and birth them into a new life – metaphorically –
It was my job to wash the feet of people walking their fist step out of the fire – my hose spray was what broke their hypnosis state and shocked them into their new lives. Like a baby taking its first breath.
It was magical.
And I wept and wept wept (hahaha this reminds me of a convo I had recently)
My ex’s grandad was dying slowly from cancer in a hospice.. I felt so called to sit with him and chat. To understand him, to be with him, to provide companionship. I notice he was slumped and that he had been leaning on his arm that he’d lost feeling in for several hours.. I offered and helped him back to centre.
He felt better even though he couldnt feel it, I even stuck a pillow under him to support it and cushion it.
When his grandson was out of the room he toldme to marry Dave and to look after him. I didnt obviously..
Fast forward again… I have had 3 women in my life who call on me for social companionships.
Zoe – Had 4 miscarriages, I gave her some counselling, and some wise woman advice and she now has 2 boys.
Lizzy – Had 2 rounds of IVF that failed, I worked with her again doing the same thing and now she has a baby boy.
Aimee – Had a miscarriage, I worked with her on her emotions and her spiritual connection to how she processes her emotions and the meaning she gives them. She’s now pregnant with her boy..
I seem to be able to help bring more boys out into the world.
Anyway its made me think I want to do more.. I dont know how or what it would look like…
I took a Doula course over the lockdown.. I have a Alevel equivalent to a diploma which is something i guess.. but no expereince. Ive never attended a birth. I REALLLYYYY want to though.
Ive never seen a death either.. and I guess I do kinda of want to as well… wierd I know..
#Maybe I should think about this and encourage avenues to come into my life..