KETO – oh gawd, I have sinned so incredibly, what should I confess -the Mcdonalds, the pizza, the cookies, the Kebab… The Ice cream… All of it.
I am making recompence. I have a new keto buddy as the old one was trying to get with me and it was not going to work.
I am meal prepping tonight and I should really go shopping whilst Im at it.
Gerbils – every night this week I will play and interact with them until they learn to love me… or face starvation either one. At least I can buy some new ones then…. :/ ok thats evil lol
Seriously though if they dont lighten up and love I dont think they will live long. The owner/pet relationship energy will deteriorate and they wont be destined for this world. Not that im going to get rid of them etc its just nature isnt kind to negative energies. It tends to quash them.
Im a bit empty of words currently.. I hate routine and now it seems the only way forward.
Im having my contraception removed. Goodbye copper coil.
I figure it doesn’t fit with my beliefs anymore, Im not having any sex, I probably wont be… and if I did I’ll need to be married because i wont have accidental bastard children..
Its kinda strange to think that me – the girl who sex was such an expression, an artform, a means of love, a need, a way to feel happy, a way to show love, something I was *very*good at – is going to just not exist anymore.
But the truth is – Its already disappeared, died, faded out slowly. I havent had sex since August and I have as much chance of winning the lottery in having it again..
When I told Catherine I think she was shocked. Sex has become like entertainment nowadays.. I mean she’s sleeping with 3 guys at the same time currently! Im ashamed to admit Ive had sex on the first date, Ive even had sex with no dates.
Sure im still coming to terms with my renouncement. Im not a virgin, I mean Im not a whore either – but Im definetly a very sexual person.
My body is made for sex, its hardly an ironing board. When Ed Dutton talks about sexual advertisement style bodies mine is probably number one – I have a body fit for a whore..
I have always been told I have a sexual presence even when Im not trying, even females have told me this. Even females have felt seduced at times.. my boss says I flirt with her without even knowing I do!
My hormones are crucifyingly (Jesus puns galore today) hard to endure monthly now – the urge is there but the brain and the heart has died for any taste in it.
So the likes of me reverting into a nun is pretty laughable. But now true.
Mary Magdalene I guess.
I was actually Mary Magdalene in a school play. Must have seen years into k the future and type casted me haha.
I wore a red dress today and the same dress last week when I was catcalled by some homeless guy for my “massive fucking melons”.
That was humiliating.
Ive never liked them, they are probably my least favourite part of me except for my weight in general. I wanted to be tall and elegant, ethereal and elf like with witchy green eyes.
Instead I am short and fat with poo coloured eyes and with breasts only fit for a sideshow… I mean to look at they’re great without going into too much detail Im considerablly lucky with their appearance.. but the sheer mammoth size of them is a cross to bear. (AGAIN JESUS PUNS HAHAHA)